The "Dash"-Board-- Rantings of a Normal Youth

Random thoughts from a random guy...

Thursday, October 27, 2011

For whom the bell tolls, an homage to Metallica

(In the wake of the upcoming gig in Bangalore, that I am counting hours down for, I compiled this. Enjoy.)

I thought I was better than you. I really did. At least that's what mama said. Some said I had the "Holier than thou" attitude. I wouldn't think twice before indulging myself with the judas kiss or a devil's dance. The human world was all within my hands. You could shoot me twice but I'd come back at you like some kind of monster. They called me the Phantom Lord, the harvester of sorrow.

But then you came along. You made me your Prince Charming. Your eyes, the colour of sweet amber. Your hair, blackened and long. Your smile, the flash of some Orion star. Your kiss, some sort of cyanide. I would willingly jump in the fire for you, and escape unhurt. You made me realise I wasnt a bad seed. You taught me to "Carpe Diem, Baby!". You were my cure. I succumbed to the unnamed feeling. You and me had become one.

Yet it happened. I'd hoped this would never come to pass. The day that never comes I'd fervently prayed. But it arrived. The end of the line. It hit me like whiplash. You left poor twisted me, broken beat and scarred. You were indeed, my apocalypse. I cursed the god that failed me! St Anger was my friend of misery, like a thorn within. I was pushed to the frayed ends of sanity by the struggle within. To the point that suicide and redemption was my only escape.

In the unforgiven darkness, I lay. Bleeding me, waiting for the dyers eve. My fate was sealed, the shortest straw drawn. When through that dirty window, came a sliver of light. I saw the four horsemen in the blurry distance. I went closer. They said they were going to rescue my soul, trapped under ice. This is what they said.

In this world of wolf and man, women are nothing but the master of puppets. They distort men from being the hero of the day to being disposable heroes. That was just your life, they said. I'd become the outlaw torn.

I now had two choices. A part of me wanted to seek and destroy. Another wanted me to just fade to black. But living the latter would make me King Nothing. To live that is to die, they said.

I was wasting my hate they said. It was time to fight fire with fire, to ride the lightning, all nightmare long. Every frantic motorbreath of mine would be dedicated to resist this creeping death. To fix my world where there would be freedom... and justice for all. Nothing else matters.

"Welcome home, my boy!", they said.

Now I live with no remorse. Although wherever I may roam, the memory remains. That of you and me together. Like words from a low man's lyric. It pains, like pulling teeth from a child. However, I have come to terms with you. You just aint my bitch. You never were. Sad but true.

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Campus to corporate, or vice versa?

It should be a long time since I first joined my company, since I really can’t remember what my first tryst with it was. Life has changed since then, in radical ways for me, you see. There are things I have learnt. Things like calling the company I joined, “my company” since divulging its name can get me kicked out of “the company”. (PS: For people of “my company”, please refer to “Privacy in Practice”, in case you just wrote the exam from answers given by your cubicle-mate(PPS: They aren’t very reliable, are they?))

So let us call “My Company”, “D”(First letter that came into my head, gaad praamise ok?). Working at D is indeed awesome. You wonder why? Well it isn’t that different from college. But shouldn’t a job bring more maturity in me? Shouldn’t it be my metamorphosing step to adulthood, you ask. I beg to differ, say I. You want reasons?

1. People who (are supposed to) influence me:


On approaching a faculty with a doubt:
Me: “Sir/Madam, what is X?”(X being the doubt)
Faculty: ”Give me some time, I will answer your doubt”
Me : ”Can it be XYZ?”(XYZ being the answer that I thought should logically be the answer)
Faculty : ”Do you think you know more than me? Get out!”
2 days later:
Faculty member comes up to me, beaming.
Faculty: “The answer to your doubt is… XYZ”
Me: “But that’s what I said………………”


On approaching a senior with a problem:
Me: ”Hey X, can you help me with this?”(X here being the first name of the senior)
X:”Sure buddy, I will get back to you on this”
Me:”Can we use XYZ?”(XYZ being some method/tool that would be the solution)
X:*gives me a cold stare, and royally ignores me*
2 days later:
X comes up to me, beaming.
X: “I solved it”
Me: “How?”
X: “I used XYZ”
Me: “But that’s what I said………………”

2. Things needed to be done on a timeline:


2 hours before assignment submission:
Me: “Oye, you have the assignment solution?”
Friend:”Nope, lagta hai jugaad karna padega!”


2 hours before mandatory training deadline:
Me:”Oye, you have the answers to this training?”
lagta hai jugaad karna padega!”

3. Drunken Stupors:


Outside a shady pub, most close to my heart:
Drunk Me:”Hey, what’s your name?”
Drunk Girl: *looks at me, then turns away as if the question came from thin air*
Drunk Me:*pretends it never happened, and walks away*

Outside a 5 star hotel bar, that cannot be compared to the shady pub.
Drunk Me:”Hey, what’s your name?”
Drunk Senior Manager: *looks at me, then turns away as if the question came from thin air*
Drunk Me:*pretends it never happened, and walks away*

4. Work time interruptions:


On a long, sunny afternoon, when time doesn’t seem to end:
Faculty: ”Lionel!”
Me:*rudely awakened from a nap on my desk, uttering some incoherent sound*
Faculty: ”Go wash your face and come back when you’re ready to listen!”


On a long, sunny afternoon, when time doesn’t seem to end:
Project Manager: ”Lionel!”
Me:*rudely awakened from a nap at my cubicle, uttering some incoherent sound*
Project Manager: ”Go drink some coffee and come back when you’re ready to work!”

5. The ethnic factor:


Me: “Ehhh, baanc**d”
Friend:*insert tamil slang here*


Me: “Ehhh, baanc**d”
Friend: *insert mallu slang here*

Not that it makes a difference to me. It’s all south indian.(Not meant to be racially derogative) : P

6. Ridiculous band-names:


MC: “And next on stage, we have Annihilated Perception Inc.”
Me: “API! API! API!”


MC:”And next on stage, we have BrandD!”
Me: *looks at the stage, then walks away in disbelief*

Still, as I have mentioned previously, things have changed radically for me. I pay for my own booze, I call seniors by their first name, I have my own room in a rented 2BHK. But nothing, NOTHING can beat the time I had in Manipal. Manipal, the place that doesn’t sue you for mentioning its name on a random blog. Manipal, the place where I knew I could be me without any inhibitions or fear of people talking about me. Manipal, the place I will always love…

Monday, May 24, 2010

Journey in Hell.

The journey from Manipal to Kolkata is usually a sad one for me. Leaving friends and the independence that you enjoyed for the past 6 months only for the shackles of home awaiting you, the road sickness I have when the Volvo(without any semblance of a suspension) wound through the serpent-like roads near the western ghats, and forced me to curse the makers of this road for not making the roads straighter! I mean, what is the use of such huge curves on that road(some curves are just not meant to be ridden *wink wink*) when you could just simply blast your way through the mountains and do a simpler task of making a STRAIGHT road!

But its not that for me usually. Usually its something else that compounds my misery. The incidents that I am about to recount have taken place on different journeys, but for simplicity’s sake, I shall mix them into one mammothly pathetic journey from Manipal to Kolkata.

Bus journeys are usually not my cup of tea because of the aforementioned reason. Hence I wasn’t looking forward to travelling in the bus to Bangalore. It left from Udupi and I cant take the fricking night bus coz my flight is always at 6 in the morning the next day.(Those who are thinking why I cant take another flight back, I have only one FREE choice for a plane ride back). So when I reached the bus station waiting for my bus to arrive, my stomach was already churning in anticipation of the road.

The conductor asked for my ticket before boarding the bus, I grabbed into my bag and took out an envelope. The guy looked at the ticket and starts shouting in kannada. I am soon surrounded by some burly conductor people staring at my ticket and back at me. The guy then shows me my ticket, it was my previous sem bus ticket that I had mistakenly put in the envelope and the new one was in my room. To avoid a beating, I had to buy a new ticket and the guy sadistically gave me the backseat of the bus although the bus was empty! I couldn’t even protest since I was alien to their land, and for once I wish I studied in good old cal.

After a sickening journey through the hills, (I used 4 air-sickness bags) we finally hit the Mysore highway and I knew I was close to Bangalore. As I was blissfully falling off to sleep,(the only chance I actually had to doze through the entire journey), the plastic thing that covered me from the lashing rain outside just flew off without a warning and I was awoken by the rain beating down on me. Thankfully, the conductor guy didn’t notice the broken window before I got off although he was suspicious of my wet physical disposition.

So there I was in Bangalore, with an appallingly light wallet and wet clothes. My only hope was to catch the Volvo service from Majestic to the airport( which like another nuisance, is situated 40 kms from the heart of the city). However when I reached the bus stand, I was informed that today was some god forbidden festival(excuse my choice of words, but that’s what I felt then) and the buses were not running then. I had to catch an auto to reach the airport.

Now Bangalore auto-wallahs, like other auto drivers in all the metros, know a hard done person from a mile away. Its like a shark homing in on a bleeding person, or a cheetah hunting down a wounded gazelle on the Serengeti. They surrounded me with various offers to go to the airport. Na├»ve as I was, I took the first guy to approach me to take me to the airport. However as we reached the airport he asked for 500 bucks. I had just 200 in my wallet and I was pretty sure it was a lot. Now to my disdain, I had no money and an angry auto driver on my tail. Thankfully( small mercies), there was an ATM at the airport and I paid the guy with whatever I had left in my account. (As all MIT people will vouch for, we don’t usually have more than 100 in our account at the end of the month) and I had finally reached the airport.

I thought the journey couldn’t get worse for me. However, to my ignorance, it had just taken a turn for the worse.

Friday, March 19, 2010

People from my Perspective......

Midnight shouldn’t be the time when I start documenting about the people I see. People who may or may not be respected by me (usually it’s the latter.). However, as the mission set upon me (by myself if I may add) is to get you an insight into people, I’ll try and do that.

You see, people, by themselves, don’t choose to take a category which I am going to chronicle. They naturally seem to categorize themselves. As for the disclaimers (this note is not depicted on anybody living or fictitious….) I’ll leave that to some other dusty day. So without much further ado….

Category 1: The I’m-Too-Smart-For-This People:
These people are the brains of the class. They will be the first one to raise their hands to answer a particular question from the teachers. Later, when their status as being a “know-all” is established, they choose to ignore questions thrown by teachers. Usually hated by The I-have-no-clue-what’s-going-on people because this usually leads to the teacher asking them for the answer, to which they obviously don’t know the answer. Can be detected speaking volumes about other colleges and never appreciating what’s here.

Category 2: The I-know-you-when-I-need-you People:
These are the people who you wouldn’t even know existed in your class, but would suddenly randomly appear to be your best-buddy. But don’t get yourself too happy, because once you have proved how good a friend you are to them (which obviously includes some onerous task to be performed on their behalf), they will cease to recognize you. Only to be your best-buddy when another one of those tasks come their way.

Category 3: The I’m-ok-doing-that-you’re-not People:
These are the people who think they are above the law themselves. Also called as The Self-Righteous or The Holier-than-Thou. They can do whatever they please to. However if you do anything immorally wrong, they wont hesitate to nag you about it. No matter how many times they may have done it themselves! If pointed that out to them, they ignore it outright and seem offended that you actually thought THEY were capable of doing this. If you’re one of the I-don’t-do-anything-wrong people(their numbers are dwindling), they will make sure they concoct a cock and bull story just to get you down.

Category 4: The I-am-too-modest People:
By now, you surely have heard of the I-am-awesome people right? The ones who say they have climbed Mount Kilimanjaro and had caviar with the Russian prime-minister. The I-am-too-modest People are the EXACT opposite of that. But don’t think they are of any better a sort! An excerpt of a conversation heard before an exam:
Student 1: Oye yaar… Did you study anything??
Student 2: Nope! I am so GONE this sessional!!
*2 weeks later*
Teacher: Student X… 8, Student Y… 10, Student 2… 20…..
Student 1:*shocked*
Student 2:*wry smile*
Student 2 is a perfect example of a Category 4 person. They can be highly deceptive, yet can be the better of the lot of rotten apples.

Category 5: The blah-blah-blah people:
Usually of the female species, although the males also seem to nowadays give good competition to them. Once they open their mouths… You might as well take a trip around the world... when you’re done, they still haven’t completed their tale. These are the people who, when needed to talk about... lets say a tree, will first start from its history, its origins, its ancestors, its genetic structure, its chromosomes… they will keep talking, until you curse Pink Floyd for making a song of the same name. Usually have the latest “gossip” if you’re interested, but to know it, you have to endure an insurmountable amount of torture to your ear drums. Even after this if you want the “news”, you might want to read the next category.

Category 6: The You-are-such-a-#($&%^@-when-you-have-your-back-turned People:
They will be your adorers when you are with them. Nothing about you is wrong to them when you are with them. But when you’re gone, they would turn back to their friends with a judging look and say.. “what a @$$#0&%”. One warning to you guys, don’t ever complete “The Circle”..(Where A tells about B to C and A tells about C to B... If B and C start talking… Well.. I hope A is not in the same room!!!)
If I am to talk now about all the categories of people there are. I would have to write the entire magazine myself. I’m going to publish my book soon(“How to recognize People for DUMMIES”). Stay tuned for that!
However, if you find that you don’t fit into any of these categories; please don’t feel left out, because you are the ones who have that little bit of character in you. Keep it going! Cheers to you!

As for me, I know which category I belong/don’t belong in. Do you?

Thursday, March 18, 2010

A new post

Due to someone's constant bickering have i started writing this blog again. Dunno why though.

Considering that I have achieved nothing substantial in my life. Nothing that would permanantly etch my name
in the history books. I know i am not old enough, but a lotta people out there actually have achieved a lot
by my age, already on their way to glory. Why am i lagging behind then?

Coming to think of it, why do people write such blogs? To keep a piece of their mind on a piece of memory stored
somewhere deep in google's extraordinarily huge memory device? To achieve their bit of immortality through their
writings? I'm no one to judge seriously, considering I have the same mentality here.

I'd quite forgotten about this blog, frankly speaking. However a lot has changed since i last wrote this blog.

(1) I am not a confused teenager... I am a confused adult now.... :D (I havent applied for my voter ID card tho,
gotto do dat!!)

(2) I still am so confused about the contents, I actually have 2 notepad files open, one to write morbid shit, the
other for light hearted banter.

(3)I read my about me: "My name's Lionel, Lionel De"... Shouldn't it be "My name's De.. Lionel De"??? In Manipal
a lot of people know me as De...(sunday monday Lionel De..Urghhh!!!)(My sincere apologies to Ian Fleming who
would be digging quite a hole in his grave)

(4) My music taste.. I shudder to think i was a hip-hop/whatever-they-call-it fan in the not too distant past.

However some things which still havent changed:

(1) Am still the same guy, seeking solace here, in my writings.

(2) I am still called DASH, although I have been called a lot of names(lala, laila, DASCHUND, loss... You name it!)

(3) I still have the same group of friends, but have added quite a number lately, to the loss of few.. Good
going me!!

(4)My position in the football field.. Always have been under the bar.. Although i dunno y i used to hate it
back when i was in school... It was generally considered that the worst player on the pitch was the goalie
(He gets to use his hands!! wow!!)

Gees... Time's just flown writing this post. Hopefully one of many to come...

Cheers(god bless)!!


Sunday, June 8, 2008

Yeah yeah... You know what... I think the readers of this blog.. if any.. Should be getting BORED by the dark, morbid poetry that is the only thing I am able to compose lately... due to certain circumstances that forced me to... I learnt a LOT about misery and hatred.. But I have come to realise that.. Life is not only about sad stuff... it also has to have the light side... the humour part and stuff... So guess wat?? I will try and get some stuff that should be able to make u laugh.. just goes to show how CONFUSED a teen i am!!!!

( That sounded SO much like the moral of the story kinda bullshit... URGHHHH!!!!!)

Life is a Bitch

(I went to Hi5 after a HELL long time... You know just for old time memories... and here's what i found.. Some shit that I composed a long time back... I think it was in 10 coz am talking about ray optics and stuff... So here goes... )

These lines were penned by me on the eve(rather midnight) of my physics exam. I still had ray optics to do n the exam was a couple of hours away.Frustrated with my life I ruminated on the worthlessness of my life...following is the result if u like it try to add some beats to make it a rap song I swear I wont ask for copyrights(lol!!!)

Life is a Bitch (Inspired from the "el manana" video of the Gorillaz)

When on a roller coaster

there's bound to be highs n lows

But my life's as such

it's a continuous base flow


A river meandering

ultimately reaches its goal

but this life doesn't make me

reach out to my soul


The pressure of the world

Is too much for me to hitch

Sinking me into the swirl

Coz' life's such a bitch


In this lonely world of mine

Everything seems to be fine

But inside my wretched mind

There's a dearth of sunshine


Sitting on this chair

I think about the future

The seeds of which should've

In the past been nurtured


As the clock keeps ticking

Darkness envelops me

Ironically the physics chapter

Is "light" which I've to study


Suddenly I see a vision

A vision of verdurous fields

Of birds chirping, bees buzzing

Of a windmill of Dutch guilds


But the scenery changes

My eye flashes

The sky turns red

A bolt of thunder crashes


The flower being to wilt

The flora is destroyed!

The fauna begins to disintegrate

The world's becoming a void


NO! This wont happen

This cant happen

I reach out for help

But I get sucked in......


I open my eyes

I'd fallen into a niche

My physics book lies open

Life's such a bitch